Mission Impossible

I want to feel lust;
near my heart
cold as the creeks in the winter
empty as the person I’ve come to be.
I need to hate;
to feel the remains of what have been taken
your remains
vividly floating behind my eyelids.

I have to fly;
to steal you from the skies
in which I don’t deserve to wander
yet  I’ll chase the stairway.
I’ve lost my power;
to the bricks tossed at my face
crushed my mouth
removed my ability to talk.

 I ask of you;
let me heal
remove the strings
which my reflection laughs at so sharply.
Take;
my heart, my hands, my burden
I’m passionately begging
burning.

Landscapes

Come find me
by the glistening green creek
listen as the water screams
focus as it speaks.
I’ll tell you how I’ve been blue for a while
walking upside down
no one knows my face now
‘cause my feet don’t drop by town.

This is where I lay
liquid skies & filthy mind
collecting an easy grin
reminiscing long gone times.
Wasted nights in the streets
drunken eyes rolling around
high as a kite
space bound.

Visit me upon my throne
by the water, near the trail
I’ll find my way back someday
until then I’ll sail,
I’ll sail away within
in golden frequent lights
walking the plank alone
jumping from horrifying heights.

I never claimed there was no destruction
in my soul
in my heart and mind
which I never sold,
to none
to no one
to no lover or friend
because losing them, I’d be gone.

Tunes all over
music with which I sink in
no storm can harm me here
where every dream I’ve ever had begins.
I’d let you I, I really would
but I only tell of this place to some
you’d have to see me close up
find and know what I’ve become.

Game over!

It hurts
it hurts so bad
in the most peculiar way
I’ve ever known.
Like a carving maybe
like a scratching possibly
side effects
of a pollution of the mind.

I tried twitching
I proceeded to kicking
got carried away by a heart beating
mine.
Five fingers
grasping around my throat
five fingers
pulling out the seams
you.

Heavily sedated
 only companionship, blasting tunes
holding me are you together
deadly waltz we’re dancing.
Ripped apart
sewn back together
in a twisted way
to keep me yours
I suppose.

It hurts still
because when the music stops
you will push me away
and my seams shall rip.
My dreams will empty
fall upon me
like you leaped upon me
only to drag me down.

Dream

I long to write something so beautiful
that the words collide and crashes
into a haze of stars,
beneath an icy surface.But my view is glasslike 

and I don’t feel fit to wonder
so I lay my head
and I fade away.

Away into a place

where the snow falls soundless
as if without soul
bound to stay or melt.
This is where I lay
and this is where I am capable
to dream
to exist.

Dots keep forming behind my eyelids
like tiny lights strewn
pretty as a picture
full of pain.
I can’t help but wonder;
are these tears falling
possibly captured
in the midst of me.

No place like here,
air to breathe under water
no such thing as a tragic flaw
for it is my creation.
I’m sorry that you shall never know
how far the world stretches
in my mind
you shall never overcome.

Stillness now;
fragile as decomposing bones
about to stray into the sun
keep it quiet.
Keep it lingering
in the corners of my mind
where no one comes
where only I seek shelter.

Blue Moon

I wait for night
to pour its liquid black over me
darkness to be
seldom eyelids to cover.
I yearn for the stars to show
flutter their way across the sky
what I dream might be a lie
but it keeps me alive in the gutter.

A moon in bloom
flowers depicted on her pale skin
her bones tell tales of sin
done by us.
Her heart is heavy
lonesome and awake in space
her world is a crowded place
yet lonely she is.

I rest my head
blindly and exposed
with my eyes closed
because it is heavenly.
There shines a faint light
yet I can taste the blues
no use
hiding behind these pearly whites.

I blossom and awake
to the sounds of seagulls’ cries
whilst a piece of me dies
I’d rather stay in heaven.

Ghosts

The air that I breathe is frozen
it shapes like faces with every breath
a game of hide and seek with shadows
a peek out the window reveals a cruel death.
Cluttering fingers caress my throat
as my footprints blends with snow
under my feet forms a temporary stamp
here, dancing under the streetlights glow.

I hear her moan in the darkness
someone is crying by the curb
I hear stilettos stomp behind me
but they don’t belong to the voice I first heard.
I bleed with her in silence
reach out for her smile
but I pull my fingers through a foggy cloud
in front of me standing a blue eyed transparent child.

Colors and glistening lights
a lonesome echo; nothing
alone in the snow forever
I need to fall for something.
She fades before me
a blurry cloud
I cover my ears
but she screams so loud.

Found my way to a bar
found my way home
quench my thirst in cocktails
anything to not feel so alone.
Fell asleep to die
slip away in smoke
first love left me by the staircase
I remember every word he spoke.

Lonely ghost – turn away, go home
let me wither in alcohol
throw up my guts and laugh out loud
I used to live in a fishbowl.
Let the music set me free
let my shoes take the lead
high
I challenge life to sweep me off of my feet.

Nightfall

This is the core of your existence
a crimson death
one last thought survives
written on paper
children’s laughter, young adult cries.
The pain is handheld
crushed by fingers
black as coal
burns like fire
sorrow lingers.

You saw dust
I found water
in the mist of hope
lips of spoken madness
I remember the hate you spoke.
We’re lost by broken clocks
where hands don’t turn anymore
we’re hours past
we are where seconds stumbled
we used to be the last deadly blast
into nothingness.

Solitude is where my heart is
trapped in the eyes of lonesome ghosts
at night as I fall away
and close my eyes
I let you go and I erase the day.
Swallowed by muddy swirls
still and comfortable
in the wind
I blew kisses in your direction again
the waves will take you in.