To dwell on someone, you

I don’t need to dwell
but I spend hours dwelling
on the past
on the present
and I swirl like a leaf in a blizzard
till I fall.

Do you believe in love?
because the moment I loved
I fell flat
on my face
and I swear, it blew my brains out.

I guess it couldn’t co-exist with my heart
which lives to wander
near the ocean
beneath the street lights
liquor lost
love struck.

By the time I left the shore
my heart seemed to not be beating anymore
stop
such a peculiar sight.

What a lovely way to pass
in a blur
in a haze
in a silent scream
a death race.

Time to bleed gold
upon the blue I’ve created
in my soul
around the heart
that binds us.

Because I love you
the virus you are
the worlds you’ve claimed
and have in your hands
dimensions in spades.


Slit their throats
as they blindly believe
in everything
in you.

The Battle

Don’t decide
you don’t need eyes to see
open the doors to heaven
leave vengeance at foot.
Darkness is a must,
blackness is before birth
for a star to shine bright
hovering in the night sky.

Leave me be
but don’t forget
let me suffer behind the curtains
when the grass turns green
I’ll be free.
Don’t worry
wonder if you must
I only wander empty
no pain, just lust.

The longing
the desire I hold so dear
holds me lonesome
with a touch of fear.

A fear I despise
for I have wished to feel nothing
broken is a good way to start
how can I fix for better, if I was never apart?

Don’t look for me
when I walk the streets thin
I seek
moments of truth suspended in time
they honestly seem hard to find.

For what I see
the sights I gaze upon
and the color of the sky
might turn out to be a lie.

What shade of blue
does my eyes look like to you?

Pulse

I suppose there is a pulse
always was, always will be
vibrating notions
eating away beneath this skin.
When the sun peaks
time has come
to drink a cup of strength
and leap out into the sunset.

Behind a wooden frame
I met glossy eyes and cheap escapes
hiding behind empty faces
and this is where I run for dear life.
Yet, there is a wink of passion
written on paper
by a mind so distant
it never mattered.

And it the greenest of lights
something fed upon
voices, minds and visions
until it moved along on its bicycle.

Morning Glory

Waltzing around in morning light,
behind a truck coughing blood
while my thoughts flow
behind glass.
What if
the stars started falling from the sky
or gathered in the darkness
behind my eyelids.

Hopeless dreams
wicked thoughts
you call it a gift
I call it a curse.

It hits like pits of fire
in the middle of the night
like burning kisses
no peace, no rest.

Even in the morning
behind bloody wheels
I see nothing
consumed in thought.

And behind blue walls
where you will never enter
I scream without cracking my lips
ghostly winds
another soothing breeze
you’d think.

Mission Impossible

I want to feel lust;
near my heart
cold as the creeks in the winter
empty as the person I’ve come to be.
I need to hate;
to feel the remains of what have been taken
your remains
vividly floating behind my eyelids.

I have to fly;
to steal you from the skies
in which I don’t deserve to wander
yet  I’ll chase the stairway.
I’ve lost my power;
to the bricks tossed at my face
crushed my mouth
removed my ability to talk.

 I ask of you;
let me heal
remove the strings
which my reflection laughs at so sharply.
Take;
my heart, my hands, my burden
I’m passionately begging
burning.

Landscapes

Come find me
by the glistening green creek
listen as the water screams
focus as it speaks.
I’ll tell you how I’ve been blue for a while
walking upside down
no one knows my face now
‘cause my feet don’t drop by town.

This is where I lay
liquid skies & filthy mind
collecting an easy grin
reminiscing long gone times.
Wasted nights in the streets
drunken eyes rolling around
high as a kite
space bound.

Visit me upon my throne
by the water, near the trail
I’ll find my way back someday
until then I’ll sail,
I’ll sail away within
in golden frequent lights
walking the plank alone
jumping from horrifying heights.

I never claimed there was no destruction
in my soul
in my heart and mind
which I never sold,
to none
to no one
to no lover or friend
because losing them, I’d be gone.

Tunes all over
music with which I sink in
no storm can harm me here
where every dream I’ve ever had begins.
I’d let you I, I really would
but I only tell of this place to some
you’d have to see me close up
find and know what I’ve become.

Game over!

It hurts
it hurts so bad
in the most peculiar way
I’ve ever known.
Like a carving maybe
like a scratching possibly
side effects
of a pollution of the mind.

I tried twitching
I proceeded to kicking
got carried away by a heart beating
mine.
Five fingers
grasping around my throat
five fingers
pulling out the seams
you.

Heavily sedated
 only companionship, blasting tunes
holding me are you together
deadly waltz we’re dancing.
Ripped apart
sewn back together
in a twisted way
to keep me yours
I suppose.

It hurts still
because when the music stops
you will push me away
and my seams shall rip.
My dreams will empty
fall upon me
like you leaped upon me
only to drag me down.

Dream

I long to write something so beautiful
that the words collide and crashes
into a haze of stars,
beneath an icy surface.But my view is glasslike 

and I don’t feel fit to wonder
so I lay my head
and I fade away.

Away into a place

where the snow falls soundless
as if without soul
bound to stay or melt.
This is where I lay
and this is where I am capable
to dream
to exist.

Dots keep forming behind my eyelids
like tiny lights strewn
pretty as a picture
full of pain.
I can’t help but wonder;
are these tears falling
possibly captured
in the midst of me.

No place like here,
air to breathe under water
no such thing as a tragic flaw
for it is my creation.
I’m sorry that you shall never know
how far the world stretches
in my mind
you shall never overcome.

Stillness now;
fragile as decomposing bones
about to stray into the sun
keep it quiet.
Keep it lingering
in the corners of my mind
where no one comes
where only I seek shelter.